Hi, my name is Jen. And I have a problem. I know that many others suffer from this condition, so I am stepping forward in hopes that I can help.
I am addicted to McDonald's french fries.
It all started at an early age. My sister and I were taken to Mickey D's by our parents and given McDonald's food. Soon we lost all taste for any other foods. We only wanted McDonald's. And in particular, the fries.
Then things got worse. During my impressionable middle and high school years, activity buses would stop at McDonald's so that we could grab a bite to eat during road trips. Sheep that I was, I did what my friends did. I did not order a healthy salad (did they have those at McDonald's in the 80's?). I ordered fries and a milkshake.
College years were much the same. Broke and with few alternatives, I shunned the school cafeteria and traded essay-writing services for boxes of crispy, hot McCrack. My downward spiral was not finished, though.
Now I take my kids to the drive through. "Apple dippers? Nonsense, child! You must have french fries with your Happy Meal!" Why do I insist? Because I must steal my child's fries. Yes, I have hit bottom. I am ashamed to admit it, but there it is.
Looking up from the bottom of this pit, I see the beacon of light that is "The Colbert Report". If only my mother was like this woman, maybe I wouldn't suffer from this addiction.
But what a wonderful addiction it is. In fact writing this has made me hungry... would someone please toss me down some yummy McDonald's french fries?!