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Monday, May 14

Forecast

Via Jen Pondo's Monday Mission... my blog post for today is written in the style of a weather forecast. (Yes, it's all caps. Sorry folks... that's just how the weather service seems to operate.)

AREA FORECAST DISCUSSION
FIVEFOREFUN WEATHER SERVICE BEND OR
123 PM PDT MON MAY 14 2007

.SHORT TERM...HIGH ALLERGY LEVELS BUILDING TODAY. IRRITABILITY LEVEL INCREASING RAPIDLY AS PROVOKED BY CLOUDS (OF COTTONWOOD) AND INCREASED POLLEN LEVELS. DUE TO THIS CONDITION BEWARE OF SUDDEN FLARES IN TEMPERAMENT. HIGH PRESSURE IN HEAD AND SINUSES LIKELY TO REMAIN FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS. THERE COULD BE SOME SLEEP CONCERNS WHICH NEED TO BE EVALUATED A LITTLE CLOSER TONIGHT. MODELS INDICATE EMOTIONAL INSTABILITY RELATED TO THIS DISTURBANCE WHICH LEAD TO POSSIBLE STORMS WITH PRECIPITATION OVER THE NEXT FEW DAYS. THIS WOULD MAINLY BE AN EARLY MORNING EVENT WITH ANY SIDE EFFECTS ENDING WHEN CAFFEINE AND SUDAFED MOVE INTO THE AREA. WILL EVALUATE THIS SCENARIO AND PROVIDE FUTURE REPORTS IF NEEDED.

.LONG TERM...CHANCE OF ROAD TRIP TO COAST WILL ALLEVIATE SYMPTOMS OF PREVIOUS SYSTEM. PERIODIC BOUTS OF TEMPER WILL BE AGGRAVATED BY PRESENCE OF THREE 12-YEAR-OLD TORNADOES - BUT THESE ARE EXPECTED TO PASS QUICKLY. PERIOD OF RELAXATION AND LONG WALKS ON THE BEACH WILL FOLLOW. THIS TROUGH WILL GIVE WAY TO AN EXPECTED PEAK OF INTENSE ENERGY, EXPENDED MAINLY TOWARDS THE APPLICATION OF ROCK AND MASONRY.

6 comments:

Sober Briquette said...

at least you've got the sudafed. that new formula? just no good for this kind of forecast.

I'm fortunate not to have allergies myself, but I park under a tree that has my (new) car looking like a pollen-laden bumblebee, and that has caused irritability on my front.

Wendy said...

I love it! I am so ready for that forecast to change before I resort to shoving entire rolls of paper towels up my nose.

Mary G said...

You've got the jargon perfectly! Particularly liked the caffeine and sudafed feed.
Lovely!

theflyingmum said...

Oh, this was good! Yes, you could write for NOAA.

Jennifer said...

Hi there! Just staggered over from ORBlogs in an allergy induced haze. :-)
I couldn't have phrased this better myself... You just described my day (a lot of them, lately) perfectly!

Jennifer (ponderosa) said...

The cottonwood gets me, too. Aaack.

When are you going to the coast & where? We're going to Pacific City for Memorial Day.