Via Andrea's Monday Mission... a slice of life written in the form of a press release. Yah, I know it's pretty pathetic. I am not too inspired today.
Toast Identity Revealed
Bend, OR -- March 11, 2007
The Fiveforefun household was recently stricken with a confusion over the classifications of different types of toast.
Recently one of the shorter members of the household asked if they could make "French Toast". Upon further discussion, and description of the toast-making process it was determined that the short person did not want to make "French Toast" but actually wanted to make "Buttered Toast".
French toast is sliced bread battered with an egg mixture and grilled until lightly browned on both sides. It is topped with butter, powdered sugar, maple syrup (an elvish favorite), and sometimes berries. French toast is delicious.
Buttered toast (sometimes known as just "toast") is sliced bread inserted into a machine called a "toaster". When activated, the machine burns the bread, making it barely edible. The burnt bread is then slathered in butter and sometimes jam or honey. Toast is rarely delicious and usually only eaten when the taller members of the household shirk their grocery shopping duties and there are no other snacks available.
An important distinction is that "toast" is not served with maple syrup. But maybe it should be.